I have observed several parallels between running a business and running for fitness. When I run in the morning, I enjoy seeing different types of people at the track. Obviously experienced runners breeze around, passing me two and three times before they’re done. Other runners (especially newer ones like me) are slower and more measured in their stride. I also see people walking quite slowly, as if they are recovering from injury or surgery. My inclination when I first arrive is to see if I can run like the experienced runners. I think, “Maybe today will be the day …”

As I complete my pre-run stretch, I see them breeze by me. Then, I re-think my options. I can’t run with the experienced runners (yet), but the runners that are slightly faster than me are a different story. When I start out behind them, and maintain a pace slightly behind them throughout my run, I challenge myself, stretch my limits a bit and slowly increase my endurance. It’s the same in business. Here are three ways you can use this analogy to pace yourself for success in your small business:

1. Pick the right pace setters. Choose people who are running slightly ahead of you, and are in constant motion. If they’re too far ahead, you won’t be able to follow their pace efficiently. Make sure they maintain a blog, a Twitter account and an email newsletter so you can see what they do and how they do it. Watch, and put your own spin on it for your business.

   Success leaves footprints, and what works for others is likely to work for you if you pace yourself.

2. Watch for unexpected clues. From time to time, your pace setters will speed up or slow down. You don’t have to follow suit, but look for clues as to why they may be changing their approach, especially if they seem to be doing it in unison. (Big clue!) They may have noticed a new opportunity that you may be able to pick up on.

3. Set the pace for others. As you build your business by picking up on the pace set by those ahead of you, don’t forget to set the pace for those behind you. You are a role model. You are a leader. You are being watched, and the things you do each day will either help or hinder those coming along behind you.

During your first five or so years in business, you’ll see lots of experienced people in your industry running like the wind. They make it look easy, but when you look closely, you can see that a lot goes into it. You want to be like them in some ways, but if you try to keep their pace at the start of your business, you will burn out quickly, eventually accomplishing nothing.

Remember, in the long run, consistency is better than intensity.

Oh sure, keep your eye on the more experienced business leaders and their companies. But if you’re pacing yourself slightly behind the right people, and those people are pacing themselves slightly behind even more of the right people, you will eventually join in.

Question: What are your tips and experiences for pacing yourself in business?

Ambassador Carol Moseley Braun was the keynote speaker at this year’s Conference of Handcrafted Soapmakers. She started her keynote by sharing that she is currently on her fourth career. Moseley Bran’s first career was as a prosecutor. She later served as a lawmaker at the local and state levels, including as an Illinois State Senator. Later, she was appointed Ambassador to New Zealand. Today, she is an entrepreneur and the leader of Ambassador Organics which sells certified organic, certified fair trade, biodynamic spices, coffee and tea.

Moseley Braun was very generous with her time after her presentation. Here she is patiently posing for a photo with me. (Thanks to Essential Wholesale, who sponsored Moseley Braun’s appearance at the conference, and who graciously invited me to have lunch with them and the Ambassador.) During her talk, I took many notes. I knew she would be an impactful speaker and I wanted to share some of what I learned with you. Here are a few of the highlights.

1. Be careful. Moseley Braun referred to a play she saw recently about Queen Elizabeth. In it, the queen was in the habit of reminding those around her to be careful. She didn’t mean it in a cautionary sense, as in to avoid danger. She meant it in the sense that we should take responsibility, be concerned, and have high regard for others.

   She connected this to her passion for sustainability, which she defines as our responsibility to meet our present needs without compromising the ability of future generations to meet theirs.

2. You create the future with your actions, in present time. No matter who you are or what you do for a living, the present moment and what you do in it is changing the course of history. She said, and I’m paraphrasing, “Your perceptions determine your responses, and your responses impact how other people live.”

   She reminded us that our responses either make things better or they make things worse. She challenged us to aim always for the former outcome.

3. Everyone is a leader because everyone can help someone. This really hit home with me because I have not always felt qualified to be a leader. For many years, I struggled to feel comfortable in my own skin as a capable, educated woman with unique qualifications to make the world a better place.

   I have since learned that leadership is not a matter of qualifications. It’s a matter of choice.

Visit the Ambassador Organics’s website here, follow them on Twitter, and join them on FaceBook.

Question: What do you think of Moseley Braun’s thought provoking remarks and challenges?

An award winning, board certified second grade teacher at my kids’s elementary school does a great job of encouraging her students to read. I believe that great readers are also great business leaders, and since I want to do a great job of leading my business, I read a lot. I’m also on a mission to land this particular teacher for my son, who will start second grade in 2012. (Planning is everything, you know!)

I visited her classroom this morning to introduce myself and noticed that one wall is covered with this fantastic illustration entitled: “Strategies Good Readers Use.” Children are pictured beside speech bubbles containing tips for getting the most out of the reading process. I loved it so much that I had to share it with you.

1. Skip an unknown word, read to the end of the sentence, then return and re-read it. I do this to deduce the meaning of unfamiliar words, based on the words around them.

2. Chunk words to make sense. I’ll get back to you on this one, not sure what it means to “chunk” words. If you know about chunking, please share in the comments.

3. Notice beginning and ending sounds. I love paying special attention to how words are pronounced so I can create new ways to use them properly in keynotes and workshops, and right here at this blog.

4. Think about what looks right. Sometimes, the author’s thoughts become even more clear when I think about what he or she most likely means in the context of a sentence, paragraph or chapter.

5. Think about what sounds right. When something in a sentence or paragraph seems misplaced or unclear, thinking about it as I listen to myself read it aloud can point out a flaw in the author’s thinking (or my own!), or drive home an important point that I might have otherwise missed.

6. Re-read it if it doesn’t make sense. I do this a lot. When it still doesn’t make sense, I skip over it temporarily and come back later. If it still doesn’t make sense, I may ask for help or check with a dictionary or other people whose opinion I value.

7. Match illustrations to the text. Pull-outs and text boxes are especially helpful to wring every bit of information from a publication.

8. Create mind pictures of what is happening in the text. A picture is worth a thousand words. If I can’t quite capture the meaning of a sentence, closing my eyes and creating a word picture often helps.

9. Notice punctuation marks. Sentences make more or less sense, or mean one thing or another, depending on the punctuation.

I have always loved to read. I can remember my mom checking up on me long after bedtime because she knew I was under the covers with a night light reading a book. Today, I am surrounded by books on all sides. I am especially blessed to receive wonderful books from many of the authors on my radio show. (Perks are good!)

Like everyone else, I’m sure I will begin to read more on my iPhone, a Kindle or other mobile device. (The iPad looks especially inviting for this reason!) But no matter what, I will always strive to improve my reading skills. I think doing so helps me follow in the footsteps of great business leaders who are also great readers.

Question: Do you like to read? What are some of the books that have helped you be a better business leader?

In tough financial times, many businesses scale back. This is understandable since resources, money in particular, are scarce. Also in tough times, small and independent business owners have an advantage. The technology we need to successfully lead our businesses costs next to nothing in dollars and cents. This boils profitability down to something everyone can afford.
While you may have to temporarily go without a virtual assistant or delay a planned move to a larger facility, you can use technology to make a welcome and consistent online appearance on your customers’s lives, wherever they may be. This is risky. Putting yourself yourself out there always is. But there are no rewards without risks.

It’s also time consuming, and that’s one of the chief complaints I hear. That’s a lame excuse for anyone who calls herself an entrepreneur. Time is limited for everyone, but everyone also has priorities.

The fact that it takes more focused effort to manage those priorities is what is holding so many people back. Maybe I can help with that.

Turn off the television. Cut back on leisure activities. Let someone else fix dinner a few times a week. Stop making products that don’t sell well. Get at least three supremely important things done each day. Limit your time on FaceBook. The time you could save each week by doing these types of things can be used to be where your customers are, which in turn will increase sales.

I’m not just preaching here. I know first-hand what it’s like to have to do more with less. But my business is thriving in part because I have beefed up my customer outreach. I blog almost daily. I work social media diligently and consistently. I have channeled my FaceBook engagement so every minute I invest (not “spend”) there is maximized.

It’s about making yourself available to your customers.

Be visible. Be ubiquitous. Unashamedly, consistently, relentlessly ubiquitous.

Take the risk, put yourself out there. Open yourself up to criticism. Invite people to disagree, oppose or poke fun. Business leaders become good at handling all three over time. It’s scary, but what’s the worse thing that could happen? Whatever it is, it’s not worse than what will happen if you don’t lead the way for your customers.

Your customers are everywhere. You can’t be everywhere, but you can be everywhere your customers are.

Let me repeat that, because it’s worth repeating so it sinks in.

You can’t be everywhere but you can be everywhere your customers are.

How? With technology. Technology allows you to do things all by yourself in your living room that only large companies with massive numbers of people and dollars could do just a few years ago. It lets you quickly marry your offerings with the ideas and needs of your customers.

Be with your customers. Dwell with them. Ask them what they want and then, give it to them.

Be everywhere your customers are.

Question: How do you use technology to lead your business?

These words never cease to move me. “I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land. … I’m not worried about anything, I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!”

24 hours after he spoke these words, he was shot dead. I often wonder what the promised land looked like in his vision. I also wonder from time to time if God literally spoke something to him that let him know that he would not live much longer after he spoke these words. What a mystery.

While 2010 may not be the “promised land” about which he spoke, it sure is a better day because he lived.

Let’s celebrate a great leader’s life today!

Question: What do you think of when you hear these words?

Last Saturday, I celebrated my 10th year as the leader of the Indie Beauty Network, a trade organization serving small manufacturers of soaps, cosmetics, perfumes, candles, confectionery items and other health, beauty and lifestyle products. I am thoroughly enjoying serving my members, and I look forward to the next decade and beyond.Unfortunately, too many small businesses don’t last the first few years, not to mention ten. While the lack of longevity can be explained by many things, at the center of it is a lack of effective core leadership. The good news is that leadership skills can be improved by a few simple mindset adjustments. Here is my list of three things to kick start or reignite this process.

1. Know Who You Are. In today’s digital age, the success of a business depends heavily on the visibility, transparency and accessibility of its leader. You must therefore dig deep within yourself to identify and become comfortable with who you are at your core.

   You must also accept that who you are will change from time to time. When it does, be prepared to accommodate those changes in ways that positively impact your business and your life. Journaling and frequent times of meditation facilitate the inner dialogue that will keep you focused and help you overcome the fear that is sometimes associated with the leadership process.

   When you know who you are, you project the confidence and sincerity that positively impacts everything around you, including your business. Appreciating who you are allows you to positively influence yourself, and then, you can positively influence your business. Only then can you to positively influence others.

2. Know Where You Are Going. To be an effective leader, you must know exactly where you are going and the results you aim to achieve. If you don’t know what you’re aiming for, you cannot measure your success. And if you cannot measure your success, you cannot measure the success of those who work with and for you.

   An effective business leader is able to manage each day’s priorities and summon the wisdom needed to achieve specific goals. This helps with time management and delegation, and gives everyone involved a chance to be successful.

   I recently started using Stephen Covey’s Plan Plus Online to stay on track. I also use several iPhone apps, including the calendaring system that comes loaded on the device.

3. Communicate Who You Are And Where You Are Going. Once you know who you are and where you are going, you must communicate it to customers, employees, vendors, competitors and other stakeholders. In effect, you must publish this information for the world to see.

   Technology makes it easy (and fun!) to to this consistently and confidently. Use your blog, newsletter, podcasts, press releases and everything else at your disposal to share who you are. What makes you tick? Why are you doing what you do? Who are you seeking to impact? What change are you making? What legacy will you leave?

   How will you do these things? Contests? Trade shows? Books? Speaking engagements? Let people know your vision and how you expect to achieve it. Tell them what action they can take to share and benefit from what you are doing. Be specific, consistent and relentless.

I have heard it said that leadership cannot be taught, but it can be learned. Whether or not you agree with that, what is true is that leadership takes work, but without it, a business will flounder.

Question: What do you think? What tips can you offer to people become more effective business leaders?

I strive consistently to help my young children understand the importance of thinking before speaking. As kids, they are prone to blurt out what’s on their mind as it occurs to them. While I praise their honesty, I also emphasize that, the fact that you believe something does not always mean that you should say it out loud. As business leaders, we too must be mindful of what we say and how we say it.

Recently, a friend shared five questions she asks when deciding whether to speak or remain silent. I am sharing it with my kids and incorporating it into my own life. Here are the questions. They include the  T-H-I-N-K acronym so they are easy to remember.

1. Is it True?
2. Is it Helpful?
3. Is it Inspiring?
4. Is it Necessary?
5. Is it Kind?

If something I am thinking is not all of those things, I try to make doubly sure that some significant good will come out of saying it aloud.

If you think these questions are helpful, I hope you will pass them along, especially to young people. I think they are a great reminder of the power of our words, and of our responsibility to use that power to make a positive and uplifting contribution.

Question: What do you think?

As the mother of two young children, I digested with great interest the speech President Obama delivered to a group of school children today. With the exception of a few FaceBook status updates indicating that some people disapprove of the speech, I decided not to read or listen to any commentary before sharing my own.

(If you are reading this post via RSS or email and cannot view the video, please click here. If you prefer to read the speech, you may do so here.)

I think the principles contained in the speech are exactly what every person, regardless of age or ethnicity, needs to hear, take to heart and act on. I cannot find anything in the speech that is in any way objectionable.

What’s All The Fuss?

The fact that there’s any controversy at all has me thinking, What’s wrong with accountability? Why not remind young people that life requires something of them; that success takes hard work? That they are responsible for their home work, even when they don’t see the point in doing it? That they can choose to respond to life’s challenges in ways that either minimize or intensify those challenges? What’s all the fuss?

Don’t get me wrong; I know that millions of American youngsters arrived at school hungry this morning, reside in broken homes and have limited positive role models. And I do not agree with everything President Obama is doing.

But I don’t think the points made in the speech are political issues. In fact, I think the speech could form the basis for an inspiring commencement address. I even wonder whether people like Tony Robbins, Joel Osteen or Stephen Covey would be criticized for delivering the same speech.

Life’s Tough, But …

Life is hard sometimes. It is painful and often terribly unfair. Shame on us that any child in this wealthy country of ours goes to school hungry or waits for a school bus in sub-zero temperatures without a warm coat.

But that’s no reason to abdicate our responsibility as parents and leaders to challenge them to rise above their circumstances. If we excuse ourselves from holding young people accountable, they will excuse themselves from being accountable.

Improvement is a Choice

No one is entitled to any particular standard of living, but a better life doesn’t just happen.

You may have to get up earlier or stay up later than everyone else.

You may have to take three steps backward in order to take one step forward.

You may have to mow lawns in extremely hot temperatures to save money for the car that can get you to the junior college, that will pave the way for the Bachelor’s degree.

You may have to humble yourself and ask someone to help you.

Until a youngster realizes that he is accountable, at least in part, for how his life turns out, he will forever blame everything and everyone else for any misfortune he experiences.

We must encourage young people to exercise these and other proactive options in order to achieve in life, especially if we are going to adequately prepare them for entrepreneurship — as we must.

The Heart of the Matter

I’m writing in the first person because I think it’s important to consider these as lessons in my own personal life.

1. Nothing anyone else does to or for me will matter unless I fulfill my responsibilities and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.
2. I never have an excuse for not trying.
3. I must develop my talents, skills and intellect so I can help solve my most difficult problems.
4. Success is hard. No one’s born being good at things. I become good at things through hard work.
5. What am I going to do to make a contribution?

I’m will take some time today to learn what others find objectionable about this speech. If I change my mind, I’ll let you know. Meanwhile –

Question: Did you read the above 5 points out loud and in the first person? If so, did it have an effect on you? Do you find any aspects of the speech objectionable? If so, which ones? What am I missing?

As I often do in the early morning hours, today, I updated my Google Reader shared items. In the midst of all of beauty and business feeds, I discovered a life-changer at Chris Brogan’s feed. It’s a 10-minute clip about basketball coach Don Meyer, the recipient of the 2009 Jimmy V award, given in honor of Jim Valvano, the of the North Carolina State basketball coach who died of cancer in 1993. If you feel like the cards are stacked against you, but you are determined to lead your business into the future, then go someplace quiet and watch and learn from Don’s amazing story.

(If you are reading this post via email or an RSS reader and can’t see this video, then click here).

Remember your faith, your family and your friends. Remember that leaders never whine, complain or make excuses. Remember that peace is not the absence of trouble, trials and torment, but calm in the midst of them.

And remember to never ever waste your time at bat.

Question: How do you feel about having invested the last 10 minutes of your life watching this video?

If you want another, “Oh My God, how can it be?” article, then don’t read this one. But if you are looking for some silver linings in the news of the past week, you may enjoy this post. I am saddened by the tragic deaths of Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays, but I am not disheartened by them.

Instead, as I was when my father passed away on June 25, 2007, I am more determined than ever to learn from the examples of four fantastically talented people who made lasting and positive contributions to the world. Consider these 6 lessons I have learned by observing the life and times of Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays.

1. When Life Builds You a Box, Don’t Get In It. I have read that, after she left Charlie’s Angels after the first season, Fawcett could not find work in Hollywood. In an interview I watched this morning, I heard her say (I’m paraphrasing), “Once everybody in Hollywood saw me as one thing, they didn’t want to let me be anything else.”

   While none of her roles matched the popularity of her role as an “angel,” Fawcett won awards playing strong and powerful women, first as an abused wife in “The Burning Bed,” and later as a would-be rape victim who took revenge on her attacker in “Extremities.”

   A person with less fortitude may have fought the establishment or simply sulked away, licking her wounds and nursing bitterness and anger. Fawcett did none of those things. Instead, she took her lumps, assessed her options and created her own opportunities.

2. Bloom Where You Are Planted. When I was younger, I often chucked when I saw Ed McMahon, and not always because he was funny. I remember thinking how awful it must have been to be relegated to play “second fiddle” to an icon like Johnny Carson.

   In my youth, I equated success with being first, front and center, but partly through McMahon’s example, I have learned how to thrive in a supportive role. Our society does not always value the contributions of the person who is second in command, or third, fourth or fifth. But McMahon’s life is a perfect confirmation of the fact that supportive roles are every bit as meaningful as leading ones — if we choose to make them that way.

   McMahon was tailor-made to support Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show. He bloomed where he was planted. He had fun and made people smile. He knew his talent and made the most of it.

3. Always Encourage Children. Perhaps no public figure displays the consequences of saying hurtful things to a child like Michael Jackson. Over the years, Jackson shared how, as a vulnerable teenager, he was teased and ridiculed because of the size of his nose and because he had acne. These traumatic childhood experiences seem to have formed at least some of the basis for the choices he made later in life to alter his appearance.

   Jackson also spoke of the hurtful, angry words and alleged physical and sexual abuse he endured as a child at the hands of his father and older brothers. While the real facts and details will never bee known, it seems clear that Jackson internalized every negative and hurtful statement that was directed toward him.

   Jackson’s life reminds me of a lot of things. One of the most important is to always speak words of kindness, empowerment and encouragement, especially to children.

4. Let Your Misery Be Your Ministry. During the final months of her life, Fawcett videotaped and produced a documentary sharing the details of her cancer treatments. The documentary provides a raw glimpse into what it’s like to be in the active stages of dying. It shows the pain of chemotherapy, and the brokenness that results when  promising alternative treatments fail time and time again.

   A movie star who was recognized the world over for her physical beauty was at last unafraid to embody the ugliness of cancer. Instead of saying, “Why me,” Fawcett used her tragic situation to minister to others.

   Through her misery, Fawcett showed us what a soul endures when the body that houses it is literally wasting away. Her misery became her ministry as she used it to inform and encourage others.

5. Be Who You Are. Billy Mays has been called “abrasive” and a “candidate for a tranquilizer-gun take down,” but that didn’t stop him from using his trademark enthusiasm and broad smile to sell everything from super glue to absorbent towel products.

   The first time I saw Mays hocking stuff on infomercials, I thought his style was the epitome of obnoxious. But over time, I began to look forward to his talent for making the most mundane products look like life saving necessities.

   Few people could pull off Mays’s over-the-top style, but it worked for him because it was natural. Loud, larger than life and boisterous is who he was. I bet lots of people throughout his life told him to tone it down. I’m glad he didn’t listen.

6. God Always Has The Last Word. We don’t need celebrities to tell us that there is only so much of life we can control and predict.

   We can plan, scheme and strategize. We can sign contracts, launch new television shows and set goals. We can calendar events, make flight reservations and map out the growth of our families.

   We can employ alternative medicines, launch new reality show and plan final world tours. But at the end of the day, there is only one Master of the universe.

   His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. His plans are not our plans.

   The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. (Job 1:21)

Yes, it’s odd that 4 people I feel like I knew personally passed away within a few hours of one another. But in the end, the last few days have been like all other days. Some people were born while others died. Some businesses launched while others closed up shop. Some people received good health news while others received a life-shortening diagnosis.

An anonymous speaker once advised that we should, “Act as though it is impossible to fail.” Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, Michael Jackson and Ed McMahon did just that.

They saw and seized opportunities that seemed to have been created just for them, and their decisions to do so changed the world.

Imagine what would happen if we all did that.

Question: How did the lives of Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays affect you?

I think we all come into the world with the ability to empower ourselves, do for ourselves, solve problems for ourselves, lead ourselves, create opportunities for ourselves. I have observed through the years, however, that for some, this ability seems to diminish over time. I suppose there may be several explanations for this.

Perhaps hurtful relationships have shaken our confidence. Maybe unkind words about our abilities have made us avoid making forward looking decisions for fear of failing or being embarrassed. Life has a way of delivering the unexpected and the painful, but we can choose to take those situations and turn them into something positive.For many of us, this starts with empowering ourselves in very small ways, and expanding from there.

An Example of Lack of Empowerment

I once announced a teleseminar that would take place at a specific time, EST. About an hour later, I received an email from a person who asked me what time the event was in his time zone.

Why didn’t he look it up himself? I don’t know the answer to that question, and it perplexes me.

This may seem like a small thing, but it’s really not. Making the choice to ask me to calculate the time for him illustrates a lack of empowerment. A fear of miscalculating the time, and thus, missing the event. A fear that if he looked it up himself, he might be wrong.

My Own Lack of Empowerment

When I worked as an attorney just out of law school, I was told to write all of my legal briefs according to the grammatical instructions in a legal style manual. I was given a copy of it on my first day on the job.

One day, I was in a hurry to finish a brief, but I knew that one of my sentences contained faulty grammatical structure. I didn’t know how to fix it, so rather than looking it up myself, I went down the hall to ask a senior associate for the correct grammatical structure for that sentence.

She looked at me like I had lost my mind. Didn’t I have a style manual? Couldn’t I look it up myself? I was stunned. I thought we were friends.

What I didn’t know at the time was that she was forcing me to empower myself. Yes, it stung. I felt puny and stupid. I even felt a lump in my throat. Tears welled up as I searched the style manual for the correct answer.

A few minutes later, I turned my brief in to her. She reviewed it and it was filed without any edits. She told me that I had done a great job and she praised me for taking initiative. She apologized for barking at me. Then, she empowered me.

Empowerment is a Choice

She then reminded me that leaders choose to empower themselves. She said, “No one is going to empower you if you have not first demonstrated a commitment to empower myself.”

Thank you Rebecca Ann Laws, Esq., wherever you are today, for teaching me the art of empowering myself.

Question: What do you think? Do you remember when you learned the art of empowering yourself? Please share your experiences with us.

Today is a big day in the Johnson household as our son prepares to graduate from pre-school this afternoon. He will start kindergarten in September, and he and his sister will finally attend the same school together again. My husband and I are planning summer activities designed to continue to prepare him for success in elementary school.

One of the things we are starting with is memorization of his elementary school pledge. It’s short, sweet and a good reminder for small business owners and everyone in general about our responsibility as leaders to pursue excellence to the best of our ability at all times. Here it is.

As a student, I pledge to:

1. Make good choices and be responsible for my own actions.
2. Use manners, kind words, and actions to show respect for others and myself.
3. Arrive on time daily with a positive attitude, take acre of my materials, follow directions, and be eager to explore learning opportunities.
4. I expect excellence as I soar to new heights and discover success!

Question: I am inspired by how truly simple it is to pursue excellence. What do you think?

My 5-year old son’s laugh is contagious and he’s fun to be around. Though he’s still a little boy, he is beginning to exhibit some of the traits of a young man, including that he finally seems to be moving out of the whining stage. My husband and I have been working with him for months on the importance of asking for what you want, instead of whining about what you don’t have.

Asking for what you want is equally important for small businesses leaders. Before we can achieve new business goals, we must first articulate what is unsatisfactory about our current situation, and then express exactly what needs to happen to change the status quo. Here’s how asking for precisely what you want will help you lead your business in an entirely new and improved direction.

1. Asking For What You Want Empowers You To Articulate Goals. When you think long enough to say with precision exactly what it is that you want, you empower yourself to set specific and attainable goals.
2. Asking For What You Want Helps You Identify People Who Can Help You. We all know people who have things that we want. Expressing our own specific desires automatically makes us think of people who have already achieved what we want to achieve. When this happens, we naturally begin to consider ways to reach out to those people for assistance.
3. Asking For What You Want Helps You Manage Your Time. When you articulate what you want, especially if you write it down, you can more quickly eliminate from your “to do” list those things that don’t lead to the things you say you want. By refusing to engage in activities that don’t get you where you want to go, you free yourself up to pursue your highest priorities.

Today, I am so pleased when my son starts to whine and then catches himself, thinks for a minute and then says something like, “My crackers are all gone, can I have some more please?” This means he is making the connection between what he doesn’t want, what he wants and what he must do to get it. This is what all business leaders must do — assess where we are, define where we want to be and then, do what it takes to get there.

Question: How do you discipline yourself to ask for exactly what you want? Do these simple steps help? What tips can you offer to help others?

Tonight, I attended the red carpet premier of “Young Lives on the Edge,” a documentary shadowing the lives of four Charlotte area youth struggling with the consequences of substance abuse and violence. Produced in conjunction with the Urban League of the Central Carolinas, the film shines a no holds barred spotlight on how drugs and random violence set young people up for failure.

According to Patrick Graham, Ph.D, the President and CEO of the Urban League of the Central Carolinas (pictured with me here), the film documents the young people as they participate in an Urban League program designed to empower them to make better choices.

The film featured:

1. a formerly drug addicted 21-year old married father of two who is now considering a career in medicine
2. a 21-year old former exotic dancer and high school dropout who is now preparing for a career in law enforcement
3. a 21-year-old who lost a basketball scholarship to drugs, alcohol and gangs, and who is now working to build non-profit recreation centers in his hometown
4. a 19-year old single mother who was all but abandoned as a young teen, and dreams of opening her own law practice someday.

These successes are living testimonies to the Urban League’s fulfillment of its mission to promote self-sufficiency in the African American community.

You can watch the documentary trailer at this link.

After the screening, the “stars” of the documentary appeared on a panel to answer questions about their experiences. Later, the adults in the audience were asked to stand and pledge to set a more positive example for young people from all walks of life.

The “Youth Empowerment Pledge”

1. We pledge to volunteer to mentor a young person.
2. We pledge to give back to our communities for our children’s sake.
3. We will serve as living examples that all things are possible, for ourselves, our children and our communities.

Question: What do you think of the pledge? What is your responsibility to make a difference?

As a new attorney, I entered the courtroom for the first time terrified. The judge who would hear my case was Chief Judge Frank Kaufman of the US District Court for the District of Maryland. He was known as a no nonsense judge with no patience for green attorneys.

I tried everything to relax, and despite how prepared I was, I was still convinced I'd do a terrible job. And I was right. I nearly imploded in the middle of the trial. It was so bad that the opposing counsel never objected to my crazy questions. But what surprised me most was Chief Judge Kaufman's response. When I asked a nonsensical question, he leaned over the bench and said, "Ms. Coles, perhaps if you ask the question this way, the witness will answer you." Or, "Ms. Coles, why don't you ask this question, see if that works."

I felt so inept, but I kept going, pretending that everything was going just as it should. I managed to get through it and my colleagues took me out to lunch afterward, each one telling me the awful story of their first time alone in court with a client's well being hanging in the balance. Nearly every time I present at a conference or speak publicly, that experience empowers me. I know that, no matter how terrified I am, I can deliver my message with confidence and self assurance.

If lack of confidence is stopping you from doing something vital to your business, remember first that the only way to gain confidence is to just take a deep breath and put yourself out there. And second, there will always be someone, even a most unlikely someone, to help you if they see that you are pulling your weight and trying to do your best.

Question: Have you ever followed a project through to completion, even though you were scared to death, and come out on the other side with more confidence to tackle the next challenge? Share your experiences in the comments section below so we can all benefit and be encouraged.

During my years as a business owner, I have been tempted many times to just stop. Especially in the early days when it seemed like I was spitting into the wind day in and day out. No matter what I did, few people were listening and even fewer were buying. There were times when I pulled back some in order to regroup and stop the hemorrhage of money and frustration, but I never stopped. And I think that's a chief reason why I'm still in business today.

You see, as hard as it is to actually start a business, compared to managing the day to day responsibilities, starting out is a virtual cake walk. The real work begins once the business actually exists, and you have to plug away day after day, month after month, with little return.

But as hard at that is, it's even more difficult to re-start a business after months of stopping. That's why my advice to you is, whatever you do, don't stop. There will be times when money is tight. There will be times when you reach the end of your rope and just want to give up.

But unless you affirmatively decide to go out of business, try to do something each week, even a small thing, to lead your business during hard times so that when they end, you're not stuck having to start a business all over again from scratch.

Question: Have you ever refused to stop, and now credit that decision with saving your business? Have you ever stopped, and had to start all over again and now wish you had kept things going, even on a tiny scale? I'd love to know what your expriences are like so that, whatever they are, we can encourage and lift each other up.

Yesterday at my church, I enjoyed a presentation on the importance of consistency when it comes to spiritual things. The teacher said that the reason why some people feel spiritually disconnected is that they are looking to encounter an earth shattering experience — like God speaking audibly or the sky opening up to reveal some fantastic job they are to do — rather than simply being consistently involved in their spiritual experience, little by little, day by day, even when they don't feel like it.

The message hit home for me in many ways. I also noticed an interesting application to the business world. So often, I am asked by new entrepreneurs how to know exactly what they should do to make lead their businesses to success and profitability as soon as possible. The question is often asked in ways that presume there are one or two big things that propel a businesses forward. But the reality is that, it's not the big things that make a business successful. Rather, it's the little things that leaders to consistently, day in and day out, that make their businesses prosper.

Only after you do the million little things you don't feel like doing, consistently and without any fanfare, will your "big breaks" begin to come. Once that happens, we'd much rather hear about the big news than about the tiny little things that were done moment by moment for years to get to that point. But those are indeed the very things that make us successful, both in life and in business.

Question: What tiny little things are you doing consistently in your business this month to make it successful? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section here.

As a small business advocate, I'm often asked whether one needs to have lots of money to start a business. My response: start with what you have. This was the mentality of Sarah Breedlove. Born to former slaves in 1867, Sarah was orphaned as a child and made a living with her older sister in the cotton fields of rural Louisiana.

Toward the turn of the century, she began experimenting with ingredients in an effort to counter a scalp condition that was causing her to lose her hair. Soon after, she launched a line of hair care products, starting with Madam Walker's Wonderful Hair Grower. The story of how she grew that line to become one of the most successful entrepreneurs in American history is nothing short of miraculous. Here are 3 things she did consistently to lead her business to success.

1. She Was Her Own Best Asset. Madam Walker couldn't afford models, so rather than despair about how she couldn't compete, she dug her heels in and put photos of herself on her products.

2. She Cloned Herself. Madam Walker duplicated herself by training agents to use her products and sell them to others. Eventually, she organized women into state and local chapters, making it easier for her to sell her products around the globe, while her sales agents improved their standard of living.

3. She Helped Others. Not only did Madam Walker live comfortably as a millionaire, she also helped others, including providing scholarships for black students nationwide. She also protested the segregation of military troops and lobbied for civil rights for people of color.

Against nearly impossible odds, Madam CJ Walker took aim, fired, hit her mark and led herself, her business and her family to unprecedented heights. Her story teaches us that, as one dream leads to another, one opportunity leads to another as well, and that, by starting where we are with what we have, we can change our lives and the lives of others for the better. You can learn more about Madam CJ Walker at her official website.

Question: What simple things can you do today to make the most of what you have at your disposal right now?

Mentors. Everyone needs a few good ones. They come in all categories, shapes and sizes. Five of my most valuable personal mentors are my mother, Karen Davis, Leslie Bond, Kimberly Hamilton and Beverly Lucas. I watched these women model motherhood for years before I had children. It is astonishing how their actions and attitudes, which I witnessed years ago, shape how I behave as a mother today.

I have many mentors in my professional life as well, many of whom are well known media personalities I’ve never met.

If you are an Indie Business owner, rest assured that the next generation of entrepreneurs is watching you. They are looking to see you try new things, to observe what works and what doesn

Four Core Areas of Indie Business Strength

Last Saturday, Warren Buffett, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, Inc., released his annual shareholder letter. In it, he recaps 2008, including detailed overviews of his company's performance in key areas of operation: regulated utilities; insurance; manufacturing, service and retailing; finance and financial products; tax-exempt bond insurance; and investments. I enjoy reading Buffett's annual reports because they always contain things I can put to work in my business.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

The 2008 report contains a summary of how Buffett leads his business by structuring it around specific broad-based goals. Since his example provides a simple, high level overview of what all Indie Business owners must do to successfully lead our businesses, I thought I'd share them with you and see what you think.

1. Maintain a "Gibraltar-like" financial position. This means that the business has a high levels of liquidity so that some cash is always on hand. It also means that borrowing is kept to a minimum, and that any debts are well-managed and short-term only.

2. Maintain ever widening "moats" that create"durable competitive advantages. This indicates a constant effort to create new and distinct value-added products and services that keep the business from looking like other businesses that provide similar products.

3. Acquiring and developing new and varied streams of earnings. Doing this means that all of the business eggs are not in one basket. When one income stream slows down, others can subsidize it until things even out again. When one income stream disappears completely, there's a back-up. Whether or not you have a traditional job, using your Indie Business to tap into the vast well of your talents and gifts to create new income streams is a wise way of planning your life. Always have a hustle that allows you to maintain more than one way to provide for you and your family.

4. Nurturing employees. Whether or not you have formal employees like Berkshire Hathaway, you must maintain a team of friends, family members, advisers and independent contractors to encourage you and give you advice. Investing in your team members and caring genuinely about their well-being will help them succeed and cause your business to grow.

What do you have in common with Warren Buffett?

This week, I am reading Meatball Sundae: Is Your Marketing out of Sync?
by Seth Godin. I'm about halfway through and enjoying every page of it. One of the things the book is confirming is my decision many years ago to focus on a specific target market, engage the people in that market and then be of service to them. This is very different from trying to be everything to everybody. It's also very different from simply making money. I suppose I could prioritize both of those things more, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun or as fulfilling. After all, Indie Beauties are my family.

Earlier this week, my decision to pursue my passion in the industry I love was once again confirmed when new Indie Beauty Network member Valerie Rice (pictured) of soon-to-launch Piper Tate joined IBN. She told me how excited she was to become one of hundreds of men and women who, like her, are creating unique, high end products and services, not for the masses, but for people who want to purchase and enjoy really special personal care products.

Here's what Valerie said about how excited she is to join IBN:

I am thrilled to be an IBN member! Before joining, as a new entrepreneur, I often felt overwhelmed with all of the logistics of launching, marketing and running a small beauty business. Now I know that I'm part of a supportive and incredibly knowledgeable community that wants my business to prosper. With a diverse array of tools such as networking, promotional opportunities and discounted supplies, I feel confident taking my business into the competitive marketplace. dM has been a fabulous resource with an aptitude for creating community. What a renaissance woman, she's done it all, and so well!

Valerie's comments warmed my heart and confirmed my place in the universe. Leading the Indie Beauty Network is my passion, my life's work. And while Valerie's compliments about my work are appreciated, if they are deserved, it is only because I am in the unique position of reflecting the passion and creative spirits of the hundreds of Indie Beauty Network members it is my privilege to serve.

It's not only my light that Valerie sees. It's the collective light of all of Indie Beauty, and her, and also the people each of us attracts as we live out our life's purpose to enhance people's lives every day.

It's moments like these when I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am right where I am supposed to be. Thank you for sharing this time with me.

Question: Do you ever have moments that confirm that you are doing precisely what you are supposed to be doing in your life and your business? I know you do! Please share it with us!!

A Shepherd Boy's Example Could Save Your Business

As Indie Business owners, we are often considered the "Davids" of business, fighting to get a foothold in a world of mega-corporations, which are sometimes called "Goliaths". Last Sunday, I got a refresher course in courage as one of the leaders at my church spoke about how David slew Goliath in Biblical times. The message gave me spiritual strength, but it also reminded me of how we as Indies must slay the giant every day.

You can find the story of David and Goliath in I Samuel, chapter 17 of the Old Testament. In the midst of a war, the Israelites were having trouble finding someone to fight the Philistine warrior, Goliath. When David, the youngest of four brothers, volunteered, everyone laughed at him. But David took himself seriously when no one else did, and that's exactly what we must do if we are serious about our business ventures. David stood up to Goliath. He won the battle and the rest is history. Here's how he did it.

1. David Had a Mission

When David volunteered to fight Goliath, King Saul responded, "You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him, for you are but a youth, and he has been a man of war from his youth." Does that sound like the nay-sayers who come your way? There's always someone to tell you what you can't do, isn't there? As Indies, we must do what David did. Have a mission and defy the odds.

David's mission was to serve God. I suppose he was terrified, just like many of us are when we start a business. But David's singular focus on his mission helped him stay secure in the knowledge that he was where he was supposed to be, doing what he was supposed to be doing. In fulfilling his mission, David spoke up when no one else did and offered to fight the giant.

You too must have a mission, a central focus that propels you forward when the going gets tough. Without a mission, your business will eventually swerve off target. By lining up your actions with your mission, you'll always stay on track, never having much doubt about the next right step to take.

2. David Had a Memory

When King Saul told David that he was too small and inexperienced to fight Goliath, David called to mind memories of other things he had accomplished in life. From David's perspective, these were things that God had empowered him to do. Whatever your religious view, you can certainly remember prior times in your life when you overcame great challenges. David remembered those times and it gave him the confidence he needed to push forward.

In the early years of my business, when I had doubts about being successful, my dear friend Robin reminded me of past victories. "What are you talking about?" she said. "You finished college in 3 years, made the law review and excelled in your legal career. How can you have doubts that you can succeed in a business of your own?"

Like David, we must not focus on the terrible things that could happen. Instead, we must remember past successes and allow them to give us the strength to move toward future successes. Like David, we must have faith or just plain old gumption. The memory of past victories can literally guide us to future ones.

3. David Had a Method

Now this is where David got really smart. In preparation for battle, the king clothed David in heavy armor: a bronze helmet, metal body armor and a huge sword. But David had never worn armor before. In his words, he had never "tested" it, so he took it off. David knew that he had to use his own method, not the method someone else thought would work for him.

David had a plan. He knew what he was good at, and it involved rocks and a slingshot, not heavy armor and swords. Sound crazy? I think it does, but what's great about David is that he didn't let King Saul or anyone else tell him how to accomplish his mission.

Like David, we also must have a plan. Don't go into the battle of business doing what other people tell you to do. Listen to counsel, watch what others do and then work out your own plan. David's methods may have seemed odd, but they were well considered based on his past experiences and his individual talents, gifts and resources. And they lead an entire army to victory.

4. David Was Properly Motivated

After the battle, David's victory was celebrated throughout the land. All the women loved him and he was showered with gifts and praise. And wouldn't you know it — Saul became jealous and eventually tried to kill David. But David did not slay the giant because he wanted fame, fortune and riches. He did it because he was motivated to fulfill his mission.

Yesterday, I got an email with the subject line: "Why You Aren't Rich and What You Can Do About It." I didn't open it, though I suppose it would have educated me about all the things I'm doing that are keeping me from becoming rich. Ugh.

Riches earned in business are nice, but what's more important is the motivation of the leader behind those riches, and we can all check ourselves in this area. After all, becoming rich for rich's sake is what got our country into the economic situation it's in now. Too many people were motivated by greed and, well, here we all are. David's whole victory related back to his motivation. As an Indie, when your motivation is to serve, the outcome is a win/win situation for you and for everyone who comes into contact with you. What could be more satisfying than that?

What do you think?

Considering what David went on to do in his life (remember Bathsheba?), we know that he was anything but perfect. But even in his imperfection, the story of how he battled the giant and won is still inspiring, even thousands of years later. Is there anything in David's use of mission, memory, method and motivation that encourages you today? If so, share it in the comments section below. I'd love to hear about it!

For anyone interested in listening to the message from the service, you can stream it via the church blog here or download it here.

Avoid These Undesirable Business Personality Types

In my work coaching Indie Business owners, I have seen a lot of people make a lot of mistakes. I've made many mistakes myself, so I'm especially good at helping my clients avoid the pitfalls that can quickly destroy their business.

At one time or another, I have been all of the business people I don't want to be, and made all of the business mistakes I don't want to make. To help you lead your business effectively, this post offers tips to help you avoid 3 destructive business personality types and the mistakes they make.

1. Holly Hobbyist

Holly Hobbyist is creative and fun. She is naturally gifted and talented and is the person you call when you need to add some flair to your life. If Holly is your friend, you are never without a personal fashion consultant or interior designer. Throughout her life, Holly has enjoyed all kinds of hobbies. One day, she realizes that so many people ask her for help that she could start charging a fee. So that's what she does.

Holly knows that her services are every bit as good as the people that command a high fee, but because she's a "hobbyist," Holly feels guilty when she charges what "professionals" charge. Holly decides that, if she charges less than she's worth, she can make it up on volume. So she prints up brochures, sets up a website and in about 24 hours, she's in business. Within a few months, she realizes that she's working harder than her competitors and for less money. She enjoys her work, but she knows she'd enjoy it more if she charged what she is worth. But now, she's stuck into a pricing structure that people have come to expect and she fears that raising her prices will send prospects running in the opposite direction.

• Avoiding being Holly Hobbyist begins with adopting a business mindset. This means abandoning any sense of guilt that you are now charging for something that you once gave away for free. To make sure this mindset stays with you, join at least one business networking group or local chamber of commerce and then use the benefits and participate. Surrounding yourself with other business people will help you take yourself more seriously.
• Charge what your products and services are worth from the very beginning. Research what others charge for similar products and services, assess what is fair in your particular case (considering things like educational level, experience or quality) and charge what covers your costs (all of them) plus a reasonable amount to make a fair profit that not only keeps you in business but also pays you. (You may not be able to write yourself a weekly check at first, but that should absolutely be one of your first goals.)

2. Credit Card Candace

Credit Card Candace is excited and confident that it won't take her very long to get her new venture off the ground. She may or may not have money of her own, but that doesn't matter because she's got credit cards. Her business planning is sketchy because her credit will make up for any unanticipated events. Candace charges this and that here and there, and before she knows it, she's run up a balance that has fees she didn't expect. To compound the problem, she makes one late payment. In response, the bank increases her interest rate and imposes a $35 late fee.

Candace can cover the late fee and continue to make payments that leave enough room at the top to cover her continued need for supplies. But over time, the credit card balance hanging over her head begins to take a mental toll. She loves what she does all day, but at night, she has trouble sleeping because the burden of overextending herself is so heavy.

• Avoiding being Credit Card Candace by adopting a frugal mindset. And I don't just mean frugal, I mean cheapskate frugal. I saved $2.50 on cold medicine last night using a coupon. $2.50 is not going to change my business or my household much, but if I save $2.50 on every item I buy for my home and business, I'm saving thousands of dollars a year. (More couponing and rebate tips here and in a video here.)
• Pinch every penny, and I mean that literally. Save money each week so that you can cover at least part of your costs in cash. Assess whether you really need what you are about to charge on a credit card or whether you can get the same thing later, or barter for it. The bank may be extending you credit, but they don't have to be in control of that credit. You do. Pay your credit cards, not according to the bank's schedule, but according to your schedule. Use online payment systems to make a payment at least once a week. Don't wait until the end of the month to pay if the balance is accumulating.

3. DIY Guy

DIY Guy is very smart. He's a lone ranger and has done so well in traditional careers that he has seldom needed to reach out for help. He approaches each project with gusto and vigor and maintains as much control as possible. After all, no one can do anything quite like him. Guy has great products, so he's confident that the money he's saving by doing everything himself will allow him to compete more effectively.

Rather than hire a website designer or buy an inexpensive template, Guy reads "dummy" books and codes his site himself. He takes his own product photos, writes his own copy, creates his own logo and site banner and sends buyers to PayPal. While there's nothing wrong with Guy doing some things himself to save money, doing all of them makes his new website look amateurish and uninviting. And of course, he wonders why he's not making much money.

• You may be able to do it all in a traditional job, but when you're Indie, you can't do everything yourself. For one thing, you'll find yourself working so much in your business that you won't be working onit. Working in your business means spending all day in the minutiae and never assessing the big picture. Guy is so busy learning HTML code and figuring out how to take product photos that he forgets all about making a profit doing what he's really good at.
• Don't be so busy doing everything yourself that you don't have time to sell anything. A business can recover from a lot of things. Failure to sell anything is not one of them.

It's tough to launch, own and manage a business of your own, but once you decide to pursue your dreams, you must shed old mentalities that don't work in the business world.

Holly, take yourself seriously.
Candace, get a grip on your finances.
Guy, learn to delegate.

What do you think?

When I look back through the years, I see a little of myself in Holly, Candace and Guy. But the only reason I'm still in business today is because I replaced those personalities with ones that empowered me to become profitable and enjoy my life at the same time. Do you see yourself here? What are your questions or comments on this topic? If you have overcome Holly-itis, Candace-itis or Guy-itis, use the comment section to share your tips and suggestions so others can follow in your footsteps.

Related Posts

3 Hot Tips to Kick Start Your Business
Survival of the Fittest
You Have to Touch Home Plate

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9 Amazingly Simple Things Every Effective Business Leader Does

Whether your business is big, small or Indie, leading it is no small feat. Effective leadership is not about theory and rhetoric. It’s about action, about taking the bull by the horns. It’s not about making noise and kicking up a bunch of dust. It’s about touching home plate. Thank goodness we don’t have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to being effective Chief Executive Officers. There are thousands of business leaders who set good examples for us to follow, and we can learn from them daily by reading about them in magazines, enjoying their blog posts and joining their Twitter circle.

This article shares some of the most valuable things I have learned about effective leadership by watching and listening to others. One by one, I have put all of these things to work in my own business, including hosting the Indie Business Radio Show which this week celebrates the start of its fourth season! This is not an exhaustive list of leadership action tips, but these 9 things work for me and I do them over and over and over again. I hope you enjoy them, and can put some of them to work in your business. At the end, please weigh in with your own best leadership action tips in the comments.

1. Make Mistakes

In conversation after conversation with Indies, I am told that the reason they are not doing something they know they need to do is fear. Fear that they won’t do it perfectly. Fear that it won’t work. Fear that it will turn out to be a waste of time. I was terrified to host my first Indie Business Radio show. If I had followed that terror, the show that helps so many people (and is so much fun for me) would not exist.

Tinu Abayomi-Paul, a partner in a website promotion company (Twitter: @Tinu) puts it this way: "Repeat what works until it doesn’t." If something turns out out be a mistake, don’t do it anymore. If it works, repeat the activity. How simple is that? There’s nothing to be afraid of because if it doesn’t work, just scratch if off your to do list.

Effective business leaders risk making mistakes. It’s how they learn. Something that first looks like a big mistake could turn out to be a big success instead. But, you’ll never know unless you take the risk.

2. Welcome Competition

If you’re not connecting with those who provide similar products and services to you, you’re missing out on the best way to keep your business on top. It may seem counterintuitive, but welcoming competitors into your circle of influence is fun and empowering. Competition is good. It keeps us sharp. It’s what drives us to make our products and services better, faster, less expensive, more enjoyable and more fun.

Iron sharpens iron. Be thankful that there are other people doing what you do so you can use them as a sort of tool sharpener. When this happens, you win because you learn ways to make your business better, and your customers win because when you compete, they have more options. This keeps the economy strong and keeps business leaders on their toes.

3. Seek Out Like-Minded Companions

Effective business leaders are connected to other people. For example, last year, I convinced my friend, the E-Commerce Diva to launch Bootstrap Babes Bootstrap Babes, a blog we co-editing for a few years. What happens when two or more passionate people get together is magical.

Take Indie Beauty Network member Anne-Marie Faiola of Brambleberry (Twitter: @brambleberry) who employs and writes about the power of MasterMinding as a collaborative business building technique. Anne-Marie, a regular MasterMinder who is featured in the November 2008 issue of Success Magazine, grew her business to over $3M in annual revenue before she turned 30 years old.

Anne-Marie also collaborates with like-minded companions in different ways. For example, she accompanied me and several other Indie Beauty Network members to Capitol Hill in August to advocate against FDA Globalization. Each one of us learned a lot from the experience and new ideas and collaborations continue to form as a result of the investment of time in ourselves and in each other.

WendyY Bailey (Twitter: @wendyybailey) of Group Mastery, a service that helps people successfully implement group coaching programs, says that, "Connecting with people via social media has exposed me to lots of new perspectives and opportunities to collaborate." WendyY says she found a kindred spirit in Melody Campbell, the Small Biz Guru (Twitter: @smbizguru). After meeting on Twitter, they discovered a joint passion for helping radio show hosts be successful, so are now collaborating to create a Facebook support group to help Internet radio show hosts be successful. (I joined yesterday!) Wendy says the group will officially launch later this month and when it does, it has the potential to enhance Wendy’s and Melody’s core businesses while allowing them to expand their reach naturally.

4. Don’t Expect to Become Rich

Effective leaders don’t overemphasize fortune and fame. They want to be comfortable, yes. Some even want to be rich and famous. They they don’t do what they do because they expect those things. They do what they do because they want to have a positive impact somehow, and if those things, come as a by-product, it’s icing on the cake of life.

Take Indie Beauty Network member Kayla Fioravanti of Essential Wholesale (Twitter: @EssentialU), a supplier of bulk cosmetics to cosmetic retailers. Kayla and her husband, Dennis, launched their business so that they could change the face of the cosmetics industry as they also supported themselves and their three children. They didn’t pursue riches, nor did they expect them. According to Kayla, "We never wanted to be rich, we just wanted to develop products that could help others and sell them at a reasonable price so we could take care of ourselves. The fact that our business has grown beyond what we originally planned is like extra credit for us." (Enjoy my interview with Kayla and Dennis on Indie Business Radio.)

The most effective (and admired) business leaders never have financial gain and self indulgence as a primary motivation. I believe this is because the lure of money wears thin after a while. It’s not money alone that’s going to make you want to do that interview, launch that new website, get on that airplane or take that annoying phone call. Only true passion makes a leader do those things with a joyful and thankful attitude. Effective leaders are passionate about changing the world, not about becoming rich.

5. Stay in Touch With Your Audience

One of the ways Tinu Abayomi-Paul markets her business is through article marketing. At one point in 2005, she stopped article marketing altogether and invested 3 to 6 months a year to use some traditional advertising techniques. Says Tinu, "I stopped doing my weekly article marketing, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why my sales had dropped. Then someone pointed out that they hadn’t seen a new article from me in months. Suddenly, it all made sense."

Staying connected with customers and clients is a necessity. Staying in touch is one of the ways Tinu has grown her business so much that she calls herself "retired." Like Tinu, we all have to figure out what works best in terms of staying in personal touch with our customers and clients. The same thing won’t work for everyone, but as Tinu points out, staying in touch is critical. Use blogs (yours and other people’s), email newsletters, Twitter, direct mail, the telephone, traditional email and everything else at your disposal to create and maintain contact with your target audience. Tinu’s experience shows that, if you are experiencing a drop in sales, it may not be due to a recession, a poor economy or even poor products. It may simply be that your customers aren’t hearing from you.

6. Use the Heck Out of Technology

One of the best things about leading a business today is that technology makes it easier and more fun than ever. One of the most effective ways to use technology is by establishing a blog. Take Indie Beauty Network member Kelley Maddison. Kelley started coaching with me earlier this year, almost a full year before the early 2009 launch of her cosmetics business, PRIIA Mineral Cosmetics. One of the first things I did was introduce Kelley to blogging, and she launched The Mineral Makeup Coach Blog nearly a year before the planned launch date of her cosmetics line.

Of my advice to launch a blog so far in advance of her products being available for purchase, Kelley says, "At first, I didn’t know if it was a good idea because PRIIA wasn’t slated to launch until early 2009. I didn’t have a clue about what a blog was, or the value of having one BEFORE launching my business. I thought it didn’t matter.  Boy, was I wrong!"

Kelley continues. "The Mineral Makeup Coach Blog has allowed me to establish myself as an expert in my field, plus people are interacting with me on a personal level. This is giving future customers a chance to know in advance who is behind their favorite brand of mineral makeup and skin care. They have a connection with me that the behemoths of the cosmetic industry don’t have with their customers, and it’s all thanks to technology, specifically my blog and other social networking avenues like Twitter.’

It’s 5 months before Kelley’s business launches and already, dozens of people are anticipating the event. In addition, Kelley has been named a beauty and cosmetics contributor at Boutique Flair, where she’ll contribute an article each week. Kelley is taking effective leadership actions months in advance of her business launch. She summarizes the business launch experience thus far like this: "Behold the power of technology!"

7. Ask For Help

As simple as it sounds, this one gives a lot of people trouble. But any successful business leader will tell you that, without a combination of helpful clients, customers, partners, employees, team members, family members and friends, their business would not exist.

I am a perfect example of this. I launched Indie Beauty Network nearly 9 years ago. During that time, I have used all of the above to help my business maintain an edge in the market. Clients and customers help me by telling me what they like and don’t like so I can serve them better. My husband and I are the only employees, but a team of independent contractors from website designers, graphics artists, SEO experts, my radio show engineer and more help keep everything working together. And perhaps most importantly, I have a group of family helpers and friends who help me take care of my home so that I have the freedom and flexibility I need to expand my business.

Without all of these people (and more that there’s just no space to include!), nothing would be happening in my business. No Indie is an island, and no effective business leader goes it alone. If your business is stalled and you have more ideas than you have time and expertise to implement, you need some help. Get some.

8. Know When to Change, Then Change

Howard Schultz joined Starbucks in 1987. Over the years, as the CEO, Schultz lead the company through a series of decisions that resulted in enormous growth and profitability. In April 2005, James L. Donald was named president and CEO of the company. Unfortunately, on his watch, the company made decisions that led to too much bureaucracy; and a series of financial decisions that were not warranted given the growth curve of the business. So in January 2008, Schultz returned to the helm, and when he did, he made a series of difficult decisions designed to set the company back on the right track.

First, he shut down all 7,100 Starbucks stores for 3 hours on February 26 to give employees a crash course in improving coffee customer service. In July 2008, he announced that the company would close 600 US stores and terminate hundreds of employees and planned job openings between then and the first half of 2009. These were difficult but necessary changes to make. Acknowledging the need for change is a good thing, but effective business leaders also take action. They make things happen. They take control. They create change rather than let outside forces create change for them.

9.  Connect Your Business Mission With Your Life Mission

In an interview that aired yesterday on CNN’s GPS Show, host Fareed Zakaria asked Microsoft founder Bill Gates whether he thought history would remember him as the man who created Microsoft or as the man who created the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Gates answered:

"You know, most of the things we do, we do because of the people we care about, our family, because we love doing them every day. And it doesn’t require a historical perspective. You have values. You have things you enjoy, things you’re good at. And for me, these foundation issues really fit every one of those characteristics."

Gates’ answer shows the inextricable connection between his personal and business missions. He pursued what he enjoyed, what he was good at. This allowed him to care for his family and remain true to his values. When the foundation came along, it was an organic extension of what already existed. You can read the transcript of the Gates interview here. Even before Gates became one of the most generous philanthropists in the world, he connected his business to his mission of ensuring that every home in America had at least one computer. Gates’ life mission changed the word. His business is simply the tool he used to do that.

What do you think?

How many of these leadership actions do you take each day? What things do you do to lead your business that are not listed here? Please weigh in with your best Indie Business leadership tips and ideas.

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How I’m Preparing My Kids For Indie Business Ownership

Yesterday, I Twittered about my 4-year old son scrambling his own eggs. A few people thought that was a little young. I used to think so, but now that I have children, I am constantly amazed at the things they can do when we give them a chance. A few private conversations started on the topic so I thought I’d share my motivation for making sure my kids, ages 4 and 6, learn good home management skills while they are young. As you can see, that includes doing some of their own laundry.

But first, I have to tell you about my homeschooling mom friend and mother of 3 boys, Beverly Lucas. Beverly and I have known each other since 1998. At one time, we met by phone on Monday mornings to encourage each other and talk about the week ahead. Toward the end of our time together, every Monday, her boys knocked on her bedroom door and I heard them say, "Mom, we finished our chores. Is there anything else we can do for you?"

Her oldest son was 6 at the time.

I was astonished. Did they even make kids like that anymore? Of course, as a mom now, I know that kids like that aren’t made. They’re trained.

Over the years, I have looked to Beverly for all kinds of mom encouragement and parenting advice One of the things Beverly helped me do is start teaching my kids solid home management skills as soon as they could walk. I have been amazed at the things they can do, even starting as young as 2 years old.

Like transferring trash from a small trash can into a bigger one, putting their plates on the counter after they finish a meal, sweeping the floor and picking out clean underwear from a pile of laundry and putting it away. These are things a child can do at a very young age. I would never have known had Beverly not taught me.

It’s a challenge, I admit. I can sweep the floor much faster and better than my 6-year old daughter. Instead of asking my 4-year old son to take out the recyclables, I or my husband could do it. I could also sort all of the laundry in less than half the time it takes them to do it. I let them do it, and takes much longer. But I do it because I want my kids to have more than just book smarts.

Home Management Skills Are Easily Transferred To Business

I know lots of grown folks with plenty of book smarts, who are incapable of managing a home. I don’t want that for my children, and I don’t want it for my future kid-in-laws either. My friends and I laugh when I say that I don’t want some sad new bride calling me up in the middle of the night in 20 years, complaining that the man I raised can’t scramble her an egg. But I digress.

Because I tend to be on the impatient side, it can be painful to supervise my childrens’ chore progress. My son always walks through the pile of trash my daughter is sweeping, inevitably starting a fight. He also hates making two trips to do anything, so becomes especially frustrated when he can’t carry all of the recyclables at one time. And I’ll never forget the time when me and his sister were busy cleaning up the kitchen, and when I reminded him he was supposed to be helping, he said, "But it’s just not fun enough for me." (By the way, that was the last time his father ever left me and his daughter in the kitchen to clean it up by ourselves. Sorry, hon. I have to tell it like it is.)

When they load the dishwasher, I always have to go back and re-load it (without them knowing) so more dishes can be washed at one time.

All the while, I praise their achievements, keeping my eye on the ultimate prize of children who are equipped to be leaders in a 21st century world that will not be nearly as welcoming as the 20th century one in which I came of age.

They’ll need more than a good resume, a good education and a few summers of volunteer work. They’ll need skills. They’ll need to demonstrate multi-tasking abilities and be able to engage in quick deductive reasoning under pressure.

And whether or not they have a traditional job, they will need to have at least one income stream of their very own. They will need to be Indie, so their father and I work hard to ensure that they master both home management and business ownership skills.

Three guiding principles help us do it.

1. Home Management First, Then Business Management

When you’re Indie, especially if you’re also a mom like me, your heart must be in your home first. That doesn’t mean that I always choose giving a bath over signing a speaking contract, but it does mean that I check my heart daily to make sure that my home has first place.

Sometimes, this is a tough juggling act. I have to admit that it’s often made easier by the fact that my husband is here with me all day and we can trade off on work and business. But as in most homes in America, I am the one managing the home day to day. I decide where and how the money will be spent and I make most of the scheduling decisions. I want both of my children, not just my daughter, to be able to do that when the time comes. I want both of them to be capable of leading a home and a business. And I want them to understand that, if home and family don’t come first, then ultimately there may be little to show for your efforts as a business owner.

2. You Get Paid For Business Management, Not For Home Management

Most families these days have some kind of small business at home. When my kids were just 2, they started emptying the trash in the home office for a quarter. This money goes into their money jar right away. I make the chores age appropriate, but remember that they don’t really have to accomplish much to teach the lesson.

If my son empties a trash can with 2 sheets of balled up paper in it, or my daughter does something as simple as wipe off the window sills or put all the pens in the pen holder, they still get paid. This teaches them that they have to work for money. If you connect the task to your business, it also teaches them a little about entrepreneurship. (You may also be able to deduct these payments on your taxes. Check with an accountant first.)

We do not compensate our children for doing chores around the house, because life doesn’t work that way. Chores are a part of your contribution to the family. Mommy doesn’t get paid for sorting the laundry, and neither will you.

But mommy does get paid in her business, and you can too.

3. Because I Said So

Not enough parents say that these days. At ages 4 and 6, my kids are too young to understand everything their father and I have to deal with as we co-lead our home. Yes, you have to clean up your room to my satisfaction before you go outside to play, and yes, the reason is because I said so. I don’t have to make my son understand that taking care of his home before he plays with his friends builds character and instills responsibility. He doesn’t care anyway at age 4. All he wants to do is ride his bike.

But he can understand unwelcome consequences if he doesn’t do what I say he needs to do. That may sound strict and I suppose it is. But we feel that it prepares him for a life where each day starts at zero, and where he and he alone is responsible for whether or not he makes any money.

There will come a time when he will be able to comprehend the big picture. But for now, go take care of business. And yes, because I said so.

My children will not have the job options I had when I finished college and law school. They won’t be able to rely as much as I did on a good resume to launch their parachute. They’ll need good home management skills.

If you can manage a home, you can do anything, right?!!

What say you?

I’m sure you have some good tips to share to help me and others do a better job of preparing our kids for Indie Business ownership. Please share yours in the comments section below.

For more inspiring tips for home managers and business owners, subscribe to Indie Business Blog today. I’d love to get to know you better and know that you’re coming back for more!

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Forbes Magazine recently asked 20 rich business people — I’ll call them "Richies" — a series of questions. One of them was, "What was the hardest lesson you ever learned?" I thought the answers were insighful.

1. Don’t Lose Focus. One Richie said that losing focus caused him to go bankrupt. Don’t try to be all things to all people. Focus doggedly on what you do well and you’re practically guaranteed to succeed.

2. Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness. Money is good. But the business world is littered with unhappy billionnaires. Divorce, disappointment, broken business relationships. The love of money is indeed the root of all kinds of evil. (1 Timothy 6:10) Earn money, don’t worship it.

3. Patience. Three Richies said patience was a hard fought virtue. Patience comes with wisdom and practice. (Proverbs 19:11) It doesn’t come easy, but the rewards of practicing it are priceless.

4. Leaving $50Million To The Kids Is Too Much. I agree. Better to leave it to charity and teach the kids to fish for themselves.

5. Immediate Problem Solving. Letting problems fester until they explode is a poor way to manage a business. Better to prevent them to start with, but if you can’t do that, address them sooner rather than later.

6. Incompetent Attorneys. This could apply to any professional service provider. Get favorable recommendations from others before hiring anyone.

7. Delegation. Two Richies said learning how to let people make decisions without them was hard to do. Truth is, if you’re not an expert, you probably know just enough to be dangerous. Do what you’re good at and leave everything else to the experts.

8. People First. Love your family, cherish your friends and respect and support your community.

9. Ignore Mean Spirited Comments. Do your best and get on with it.

10. Wealth Corrupts. One of the most corrupting influences in life is wealth because it’s so easy to use and manipulate it to hurt other people.

11. Don’t Fret Over The Competition. Invest your energy in your own ideas instead of worrying about how you can copy someone else’s or about how others are copying yours. Assemble your vision and then get in the car and drive it.

12. Don’t Be A People Pleaser. Some people will hate you no matter what. Take what you can (if anything) from them and keep doing what you were called to do.

13. Don’t Throw In The Towel Too Soon. If you believe in it, but you give up on it, you’re the loser.

14. Be A Solid Manager. The only way to learn this is by doing it. Don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake. Fix it, apologize and keep on truckin’.

15. People Are Not Created Equal. I disagree. I think we were all created equal by a loving Creator. However, we don’t treat each other as if we have equal value and that’s the problem. Let’s all do our part to fix it.

You can enjoy the entire survey here. I appreciate their wisdom, don’t you? Too bad none of the Richies were women. So, Indie ladies? What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned?