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How to “Ignore” FaceBook Friend Requests Without Burning Bridges

by Donna Maria

UPDATE: 2/15/10: While this is an informative post, I discovered that it is against FaceBook’s Terms Of Service to have more than one FaceBook account, so I deleted the personal account.Earlier this week, I published an article outlining my new social networking strategy. Of course, I continue to receive new requests. This is a good thing, but I cannot accept most of them because they are not from family members and friends. But the action of clicking “ignore” to decline a friend request seems rude and snotty, and I don’t like to do it.

dear-johnnie

I try my best to maintain relationships and appropriate levels of connection with everyone I meet, so ignoring someone’s virtual handshake does not sit well with me. Luckily, FaceBook knows that not all friend requests can be accepted, so by including a “Send Message” option, we can send a note to a person before declining their invitation. The notes I have begun to send contain 4 elements: (1) a warm, personal greeting; (2) a short explanation of why the invitation is being declined; (3) an alternative way to connect; and (4) an expression of gratitude. Here’s the note I am currently using. Feel free to copy and edit it as appropriate.

Hi David:

What a pleasant surprise to hear from you and see your face. You are looking great these days!

I have two FaceBook pages: one for personal friends and family and the other for business associates and fantastic people I have known through the years, like you! This makes it easier to be connected with a lot of great people, yet still have a FaceBook location just for those closest to me.

I would love to connect with you at my other page! Here’s the link. It’s focused on my outreach to small and independent business owners, so if you have a business, it’s an even better place for us to connect. I hope you will join us there!

Thank you for reaching out to me, David. It’s great to hear from you and see that you are doing well. I hope we can stay in touch at the other page.

Have a great day!

Donna

Question: Have you taken steps to streamline your FaceBook activities? What do you think of this way of handling things?

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Tagged as: facebook, Relationships, small business, Social Media, social networking

posted on September 10, 2009 ·

Facebook comments:

  • http://www.anniesgoathill.com/ Mary

    One word says it all, "brilliant"!

    The reply shows a lot of warmth, a powerful reflection of the image that you want to leave.

    Mary
    Annie's Goat Hill Handcrafted Soaps

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Indie_Business Indie_Business

      Mary, "brilliant" is a kind way to describe it. Thanks for the affirmation that the reply shows warmth. That was on of my biggest concerns.

  • http://www.anniesgoathill.com Mary

    One word says it all, "brilliant"!

    The reply shows a lot of warmth, a powerful reflection of the image that you want to leave.

    Mary
    Annie's Goat Hill Handcrafted Soaps

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Indie_Business Indie_Business

      Mary, "brilliant" is a kind way to describe it. Thanks for the affirmation that the reply shows warmth. That was on of my biggest concerns.

  • http://www.bluemooncandles.com/ Lisa Kasper

    sharing-lol

  • http://www.bluemooncandles.com Lisa Kasper

    sharing-lol

  • http://www.bluemooncandles.com/ Lisa Kasper

    yep… I have been putting off doing just that, and this outline helps me with wording to make it a bit easier. Thanks for sharing the info, it is great to know I am not the only one facing this. :)
    ~Lisa

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Indie_Business Indie_Business

      Lisa, I put if off for a long time without really even realizing what was happening. It was kind of like sleepwalking. Not good. I'm glad I caught myself!

      • http://www.bluemooncandles.com/ Lisa Kasper

        yep…there are a lot of issues like this I am facing. I have a tendency to sleepwalk too-I am always busy and these things take time to execute-but I find they are worthwhile once done. That is one of the reasons why I like this network so much-it prods me awake and helps with motivation. :) Thanks dM!

  • http://www.bluemooncandles.com Lisa Kasper

    yep… I have been putting off doing just that, and this outline helps me with wording to make it a bit easier. Thanks for sharing the info, it is great to know I am not the only one facing this. :)
    ~Lisa

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Indie_Business Indie_Business

      Lisa, I put if off for a long time without really even realizing what was happening. It was kind of like sleepwalking. Not good. I'm glad I caught myself!

      • http://www.bluemooncandles.com Lisa Kasper

        yep…there are a lot of issues like this I am facing. I have a tendency to sleepwalk too-I am always busy and these things take time to execute-but I find they are worthwhile once done. That is one of the reasons why I like this network so much-it prods me awake and helps with motivation. :) Thanks dM!

  • http://www.makesomethinghappy.com/ Heidi

    That letter is a brilliant way to handle it! Thank you for sharing a great solution to a sticky issue.
    I'm going to put it to use!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Indie_Business Indie_Business

      Heidi, I'm so glad you feel that way. It is sticky, but it's impossible to effectively lead a business without systems. It's difficult in the short run but the long term benefits extend beyond your business to your customers, and more importantly, to the family and close friend relationships you have more time to invest in.

  • http://www.makesomethinghappy.com Heidi

    That letter is a brilliant way to handle it! Thank you for sharing a great solution to a sticky issue.
    I'm going to put it to use!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Indie_Business Indie_Business

      Heidi, I'm so glad you feel that way. It is sticky, but it's impossible to effectively lead a business without systems. It's difficult in the short run but the long term benefits extend beyond your business to your customers, and more importantly, to the family and close friend relationships you have more time to invest in.

  • http://1epiphanee.blogspot.com/ One Epiphany

    The post motivated me to be proactive and write my letter so I'll be ready once I launch my fan page. Thank you.

  • http://www.indiebusinessblog.com Donna Maria Coles Johnson

    Hi! I'm so glad the post was helpful to you. While this is an informative post, I recently discovered that it is against FaceBook’s Terms Of Service to have more than one FaceBook account, so I deleted my personal account. There is more information about how to use FaceBook while maintaining one profile account and one Fan Page in the FaceBook Category at this blog. Here's the link: http://bit.ly/d9HBti. Enjoy and thanks for visiting!

  • http://1epiphanee.blogspot.com/ One Epiphany

    Thanks for the additional link to related posts. I'll be certain to check them out.

    Nerissa

  • Jeannetteviersbrooks

    In myemail today I received a Friend request, from Maria Long. since I don't know her at all, I did not click on Confirm in my email. Instead, I went to the facebook website and logged in. No where on my Facebook Home webpage is that request. I think it must be a malicious virus or something. So, I suggest you never, never go the facebook through a link in your email. There are a lot of viruses being spread through facebook. Always just type the facebook website in your browser. And, never, never click on a video from website, neither in your email from facebook, nor in the Facebook website. I caught a virus from a video right on the website in my facebook mail. Gotta be careful nowdays.l

  • http://www.indiebusinessblog.com Donna Maria Coles Johnson

    Thanks for that super important reminder, Jeannette!

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