Indie Business Blog

The New Family Business

Nine Reasons Why Home-Based Business Ownership Works For Parents

So you’re a parent, or thinking about becoming one. No matter what your background or walk of life, you are probably dealing with the question of combining parenting with holding down a job outside the home. If you ponder these things, you are not alone. I wondered the same things as a new bride in 2000.

         

My husband and I wanted a family, yet his job as a camera man on ABC's Nightline required him to work from late in the afternoon to long past midnight. I worked like crazy from morning until after the dinner hour at a Washington, DC law firm. We had a fantastic combined income, yet we knew that it would be impossible to have a child with our schedules and the stress caused by our jobs.

How to Hire a Family Helper

10 Tips to Finding Help For Your Family and Your Business

Before my husband joined the business, I was home by myself a lot with our children. At the time, his work hours as a cameraman for ABC's Nightline were horrendous, keeping him away from home from the dinner hour until well after midnight every night. During those times, it would have been nearly impossible to run a business and be up half the night with babies without our family helpers.

          

I am often asked by other parents, mainly mothers, for my tips on running a profitable home-based business with young children in tow. It's a challenge, and sometimes, it's just not fun at all, honestly. It can be done, but the first step to making it work is to get yourself a family helper or two (or more ...).

'Til Business Do Us Part?

8 Questions To Ask Before Taking The Plunge

With all its blessings and benefits, marriage is a challenge. Taking the plunge for the first time at the altar is one thing. But taking the plunge again, as business partners, is quite another.

          

I've been working with my husband, Darryl, off and on ever since my business started in 2000. But a few years ago, we decided to merge our talents and gifts in a more formal sense so we could grow in new and exciting ways. The road has not always been smooth, but it is filled with enough joys and high points to keep us energized and excited.

While there's plenty of pre-marital counseling available, there's not much help when it comes to pre-spousal business counseling! We're no therapists, but based on our experience, we have concluded that these are among the most important questions to ask and answer before going into business as a married couple.

All in the Family Business

Congratulations to "Sisters Are From Heaven" Authors

I feel strongly that family members make the best business partners. My husband and I manage both our home and our business together. It's a lifestyle choice that comes with its own special breed of challenges and yet, we wouldn't have it any other way. But family businesses don't have to be of the spousal variety.

                  

Take Onjeinika Brooks and Tamika Jackson, two sisters whom I met through my work as the Work at Home Network Director for Mocha Moms, the non-profit organization that supports mothers of color who choose to exit the traditional work force while their children are young. Tamika, a photographer, and Onjeinika, a writer, combined their talents and gifts to create and publish Sisters Are From Heaven, a heartwarming children's book that showcases the enduring relationship of sisterhood.

Raising Kids And Profits

7 Parenting Skills To Make Your Business Successful

As the mother of two children, I have only just begun my parenting journey. But in the short time I've been a mom, home manager and business owner, I have noticed several parallels between raising a child and raising a business.

          

Doing both full-time as I am is a challenge. However, the similarities between my human children and my business ones are striking, and I use them to my advantage. Here are some tips to help you integrate home and business while also raising kids and profits.

Great Eggspectations

It was Saturday morning. All I wanted was to do was scramble an egg and eat it all by myself, along with a biscuit and some fresh cantaloupe.

            

Here's what happened instead.

Cousin Buck's Ribs

Last month, I traveled to Washington, DC for a family reunion on my father's side. These folks were brave enough to pose for a picture.

            

My Cousin Bridgette (also an acclaimed opera singer who has performed with Placido Domingo), didn't waste time once she decided to get the family together. She just set a date, reserved a spot at a local park and told everyone to come with a dish. Now that's what I call a woman on a mission! At the end of the day, everyone was raving about Cousin Buck's Ribs. Here's Cousin Curtis after enjoying a few helpings.

            

Last week, I made my own version, adjusting Buck's recipe to suit my taste and what was in my kitchen at the time.

The Family That Grinds Together Binds Together

During a radio show interview this morning, I was asked how couples could be successful in business despite challenging life issues that are common to all families. I told them about Kibby and Jay Mitra and Sheri and Rich Schmelzer.

             

During the show, the hosts joked about how an increase in family businesses could result in an increase in the divorce rate. However, as Indie Beauty Network member Maggie Hanus of A Wild Soap Bar says, "The family that grinds together binds together." I tend to agree.

A Father's Choices

My father died in late June. He had been ill for quite some time. Still, it was a jolt like I have never felt before. As the days since his passing have melted into weeks, and now a few months, I have had numerous chances to reflect upon his impact upon my life. I know there's a book in there somewhere. Whether I'll ever get to write it is questionable. My father supported my desire to be Indie and to be successful at home as a wife, mom and business owner. He was one of my biggest cheerleaders and he spent a considerable amount of his life ensuring that I had every opportunity to make something out of mine.

The day after he passed, I wrote a poem to honor him. I did not write it because there were things unsaid between us. There were not, and I took advantage of every opportunity to tell him of how much I loved him during the last months of his life. I wrote the poem to serve as a reminder of my responsibility to extend his legacy into the next generation. My dear friend read it at the funeral, and now, I'm ready to share it with you. I hope you like it. (So you are not baffled by the first paragraph, know that my parents adopted me out of an orphanage when I was 2 years old.)

The Future Indies Of America Show Is Born

This morning on a whim, I interviewed Vanessa (age 5) to find out what she thinks of all this Indie Business stuff. She was a little shy at first, but if you adjust your volume a little, you can enjoy her sweet view of things here.*

After that, Vanessa decided to interview me. You can enjoy that here. How cool is that?!

Hold onto your anchor desk, Katie Couric! What joy it brings me to create for my children a legacy of responsibility, self-sufficiency and fun, and anyone can do it from the comfort of home. From lemonade stands to paper routes to bake sales, we can all train our kids to grow up to provide for themselves while also having a good time. Speaking of a good time, this was so much fun that I think I'll make it a regular feature!

If you have discovered a fun way to encouarage entrepreneurship in your children, please share it!

*All browsers are different and different people use different software to enjoy online audio. If yours works like mine, clicking on "here" will open up a Quicktime window so you can hear the audio. Be sure to turn up your volume. If that doesn't work, you can click on the graphics below to hear the audio.

My interview of Vanessa:

Vanessa's interview of me:

My Brother Did It: So Can You

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, the World Health Organization reported that mental disorders comprise 4 of the top 5 sources of premature death and disability in 15 - 44 year olds in the Western world. Schizophrenia is one of the most devastating forms of mental illness. Of those who suffer, only a few receive the treatment they so desperately need. Christopher Coles, my brother, is one of those few.

I am so pleased that our father, who passed away 2 days ago, lived to see Chris enjoy being gainfully employed and living a full, independent and productive life.

Chris receives counseling and medication regularly, and battles daily to maintain his wellness. He lives with the grace and dignity he inherited from our dad. You can enjoy a bit more of Chris' story in a local newspaper that was published today.

Our father would be -- no, is -- proud.

If you or someone you love suffers with mental illness in shame and silence, help is available. A good place to start is NIMH's resources page.

Family Second, Yet Still First

Yesterday's post was about putting family first by keeping your heart in your home, even when it is not there physically. Yesterday while I was working at Panera (my office away from home), I talked with a mother of two small children who teaches 1st grade. She shared her anxiety about not having it "all together" and her guilt about not spending enough time with her kids. She told me I looked "so together," and asked me how I did that.

I was at a loss for words for a moment because at the end of the day, I almost never feel like I'm "together." I shared with her that despite how things looked on the outside, I am anything but "together." But unlike so many moms, I don't expect to be together, so it doesn't bother me when I'm not together.

And about spending time with my kids, of course I try like any other mom to do that as much as possible. It helps to be Indie because I have the flexibility that I would not enjoy with a traditional job. But challenges still arise. For example, dance classes at Steps 'N Motion and horseback riding lessons at Honeysuckle Farm are not cheap, yet my kids gets so much more than lessons through the classes. They enjoy building their confidence and learning how to interact well with different personality types. They see what a marvelous creation their bodies are, and how exercising keeps them strong. They learn to appreciate the magnificent beauty of horses, and through learning how to groom and care for them, they learn that there's more to animals than just riding them or having them around as cute pets. These benefits make dance and horseback riding lessons worth the expense.

But someone's got to pay for these great opportunities, right? As the parents and Indie business owners, that would be me and my husband. Sometimes, the reality is that we exchange dinner around the family table for the chance to land a new business deal, so the lessons can be paid for.

Thankfully, since we work from home, we have the benefit of flexibility built in. On the other hand, in a literal sense, family does come second sometimes even though it's always first in my heart. For example, if given a choice between landing a new lucrative business opportunity that I've been pursuing for months and grilling the salmon that's marinating in the fridge, I often choose to close the business deal and then haul the kids to McDonald's if I can't get to the salmon. The salmon can wait until tomorrow, or it can be baked tonight and made into salmon salad over the weekend. And my kids are in my presence while I'm dealing with the business. It works for us.

So here's the tip:Take a deep breath, don't panic. Don't expect perfection and when you don't get it, it won't make you pass out. Give yourself permission to be imperfect and don't have a coronary if you end up in the fast food lane every now and then instead of at your dinner table with 1 startch, 1 vegetable and a meat. When frazzled, ask yourself what absolutely has to be done that day and tend to that. Everything else can wait until tomorrow or be delegated to someone else.

Indie Rocks!

Do you have a story to share about how you've learned to lighten up a bit and enjoy more of the way life is, rather than they way you think it would be if you had it "together?" Click on "Comments" below to open up the comment field. I'd love to hear about your feedback and experiences.

Family First

Family First. Sounds good, but what does it mean? It's tempting to define it according to the amount of time spent with your family compared to time spent with your business. As Indies, there is always overlap, and since no two families or businesses are alike, there is no way to define for everyone what it means to put family first.

What matters most is where your heart is. Whether you have a traditional job or an Indie business (or both), a moment by moment decision to focus your heart in your home, even as you tend to business and career, is what it means to put family first.

This afternoon at 3:00pm EST, my father (pictured with my brothers), who will be 80 this September, is undergoing his third surgery in 4 days. I have been with him since Sunday when he was rushed to the first operation. Yesterday, he finally opened his eyes to recognize that I was there. What a moment that was! A breathing tube prevents him from speaking but his eyes were as alert and communicative as ever.

Newsletters must go out, memberships must be processed, phone calls must be returned, radio shows must be planned and hosted -- and those things are continuing from the ICU waiting room and the local Panera where I use free Wi-Fi.

My father enjoyed a long career in the educational field. He was rarely home for weekday dinners and as a member of the National Guard, he was frequently away at training camps on weekends. But through it all, there was no doubt that his heart was always in his home. As a child, no matter what time it was when he finally came home, I listened for him to walk up the steps, check the locks on the front door and go from room to room turning on hall lights to look in on us before he finally went to bed himself.

I will return home today to celebrate my daughter's graduation from pre-kindergarten. Then my family and I are coming back to DC to see about my dad. Everything will continue as it always does, yet this month, it's Family First in a whole new way.

Thank you God, for a wonderful dad and a great example of what it means to put Family First.